Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
soo... how was my night?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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