u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Randomize
