everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
