I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
