Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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