he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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