Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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