I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
