I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize