A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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