omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
