I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
