hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
