I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
