I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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