Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
