It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
