She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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