even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
