if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
this beer tastes like vomit already
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize