i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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