at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Found your dick twin last night
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
