I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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