If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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