Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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