Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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