Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize