dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize