toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
