YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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