no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
