McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
this will be a night to untag.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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