So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
