Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
