Nicole vs. Life
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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