this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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