im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
