I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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