I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
