You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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