Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
