omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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