oh god the rape fog is back!
P.S. I can't hear my feet
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
