big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
