OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
