shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
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