so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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