Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
