Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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