My hair reeks of homosexuality.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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