i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
