life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
