VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
How naked do you want me to be?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize