ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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