forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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