if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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