i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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