She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
