You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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