She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
