It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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