fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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