just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My boob is missing a layer of skin
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
