I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Randomize
