The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
