Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
