Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
