is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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