big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
