I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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