UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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