my sisters under your porch take her home
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
