I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
