i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
