hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
