I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
being pregnant is like rehab
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
