Betty ford says i'm here all night
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
