no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Plan B is the new Plan A
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
